Gender Bender
The Man
A woman showing cleavage is labelled as one with low self esteem. Yet these very people wouldnt take a minute to woo this woman, if they could. I ask, if it takes a woman with low self esteem to make you feel good about yourself, how low is your self esteem?
The Woman
The male ego is the stuff legends are made of. Yet very often a man forgives a woman for breaking his heart, and a woman holds on to the grudge forever. How often do we see a woman be nice to a man who was not nice to her? So who has a bigger ego?
The question
Why is it that my being ambitious has been referred to, very often, with a negative connatation? Why is it that it was all good, when I was ambitious and you were not, but now that you have decided to admit to your ambitions, you think it necessary to treat me as competition?
posted by Casablanca at
4:37 PM
25 Comments:
two words
holy shit!
Do women really not forgive a guy who forgives her for breakign his heart? Why?
Or is that a stupid question? :o
I think when it comes to ego its no longer a gender-related issue, it's got more to do with the person you are..ambivalent issues these...
Difficult days these...
Take care sweetness!
The answer:
It has much to do with a patriarchal society and its mentality.
Also, a woman wearing a low cut is called low self esteemed because Men are said to be animals enough to ogle over a fully clothed and covered woman. So if she feels that she has to really show more flesh to get the man's eye (otherwise why would one expose their chest to the climate and catch a cold, no male can perceive!), she is thought to be having short supplies of self-esteem. My two cents.
Since they have decided to do something about their life, instead of being a role model you become the number one competetion.
Or am I just saying what you already have?
After working for two and half years in corporate India, I understand this completely. It's appalling that one needs to fight this from other arbit colleagues but from one's friends - which I think he is, no? - it's really upsetting.
Screams to me of insecurity - from the other end, of course. You go, Casa my dear. Be the woman you are... and want to be! But always pls to take care, okay? :-)
p.s. Abandoned me finally, have you? :P
Programmers. They have the biggest egos.
Don't get me started on the hypocrisy of gender relations.
PS: on a completely different note.. please pray tell me (once again) how you put music on your blog.
the eternal questions .... it probably doesnt matter who feels or says what. maybe a little, in a few things you need to maintain a sense or "u" & "i" ... like "ok ur a seperate person with a seperate pov which u cant do anything abt and carry on with ur work ... no?
the eternal questions .... it probably doesnt matter who feels or says what. maybe a little, in a few things you need to maintain a sense or "u" & "i" ... like "ok ur a seperate person with a seperate pov which u cant do anything abt and carry on with ur work ... no?
Well said casa,
all three very relevant points..the women's ego is a big if not bigger than the male ego...and yes its for a women to forgive and forget easily!
mmmmm
It seems off late too many people you know have taken to judging you- harshly, if not unfairly.
May they find themselves to be more wiser than that not too long from now.
Yes, competition between 'related' genders can be an issue at times, or rather in many cases, especially from the male side - call it an ego issue.
The 'traditonal' concept of the male as a bread-winner can not be removed from his genes with the slap of the finger. Till the time when men understand the reality, such questions will come up.
Hope that some day the world will stop celebrating Womens' Day for all the right reasons.
you want men to leave the first two buttons of their shirt open and to bend over to show their male cleavage now kya?!
Excellent observaton...I never thought about these issues in this light
Many people will use strategies of dismissal on you... the moment you lay claim to your place in the world, either you are "making a fuss" or a "money grabbing whinge" or "PC gone mad" or some such.
My advice: I G N O R E !
Wise words...wise words...
It really makes me think...x.x and to think I never thought of such things in such a way until I visited your blog...
"How often do we see a woman be nice to a man who was not nice to her?"
If you ever meet me, you'll see it every week/day/hour..all the time.
Here's the question: Does the woman who is repeatedly nice to a man who doesn't treat her right have low self-esteem?
Jups,
You said it.
WT,
I think if a woman believes she was wronged, she will hold it forever. Sometimes, the 'forget' is the more difficult part of 'forgive and forget', isnt it?
Gee,
The changes in stereotypes take years, dont they?
Jingu,
I dont wish to even get into this debate... of whether showing cleavage makes her a person of low self-esteem. But even if you believe she is, why look at her and want her? How low are you, then?
(Incidentally, women are not 'exposing flesh' for your attention all the time. There is something called fashion as well...)
EU,
You just put it in the right words for me. Thanks!
Extempore,
So as a woman, if I go ahead and be myself, will I lose my friends in the bargain?
Anshul,
You should know :p
Wanderer,
I like your seeking attention point of view...
Cowlick,
Plis to visit the elaborate post done on inserting music, by our dear SS. Plis to also thank him once you use his post ;)
http://sanitystarved.blogspot.com/2006/01/embedding-music.html
Wanderer,
Well, I dont play the songs off my space either... so it is okay.
Prerona,
Sometimes, I feel like a frog in a well. Why keep comparing within the well, when there is a whole world out there?
Ekta,
We do forgive easily, but do we forget?
Deepali,
Hope your prayer gets answered. I could do with some maturity in my life...
Angada,
Why must we forever wait for men to understand, men to figure it out, and for men to come to terms with it? We dont have all our lives to wait for them!
Zii,
I dont, but trust me, if they do, I wont think of them as having low self esteem.
Pointy,
Glad it made you think...
Wild Reeds,
Who all do we ignore? Arent we becoming more and more hardened by the day?
MC,
Questions, they all are. Atleast we have to ask them, even if we dont have the answers...
Zufikar,
Here's a question for you: Do you consider youself to have low self-esteem?
Questions that make you go hhmmm...
i is here!
:)
i read previous post!
i enjoyed counting 'sighs'!
i likey this post too...
i has touched upon the 'evil ambitious working woman' acusation bit on own blog.
bye now!
mwah!
Casa dude! Since you feel there is nothing to discuss on this issue, I refrain. But I got a niggling feeling that you missed my point. Your questions, "why look?" & " how low you are" cause that.
Anyway, I let it go.
I am now more curious about "fashion" as you meant. Would you oblige with a post on that, please?
hey Casa, :)
but now that you have decided to admit to your ambitions, you think it necessary to treat me as competition?
that is something i am going through right now with a workmate of mine. its one of the suckiest to happen cause it will affect the substance of the friendship we share and i could possible feel the frienship rocky for now. there is a dread feeling within me and it hurts somehow..cause comepetion or envy could really blow a friendship to a different route somewhat. i hope i am feeling ya post right..
:)
came by u r blog from educated... blog. Really nice writing u have. Liked this post. So true :)
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