Does every post need a title?

They said she had unwound in the time that she was away, and that anyone who needs to unwind should go off to a new place for 6 months.

An individual's behaviour is influenced very much by the situation they are in. Or so many believe. I think, a far greater influence are the people surrounding the individual. Surely, spending time by yourself, introspecting, missing the people you never thought you'd miss... all this does play a part in shaping the person you become. But more important are the new people you meet, like and be liked by. Familiarity breeds contempt and sometimes, we forget to check the extent of this contempt. We end up being rudest to the people we value the most. And no amount of foolish excuses can justify that behaviour. Poking fun at the individual has to be the worst solution to him or her being wound up. We want friends for sympathy and understanding, not for concessions. If we need to be defensive infront of our friends, if we need to constantly be on guard, if we must be careful around the people we are supposed to care for, then that friendship might not be worth the trouble.

And yet, we often go along with friendships which are long over. Either, we refuse to acknowledge that it is over, or we continue because there is too much inertia. Because to many people, a friendship doesnt die without a conflict or distance or time. How can you see a person seven days a week, remember how great friends you've been with them, and then accept that it aint so anymore? So we continue 'being friends', because we are too afraid to tell ourselves and our friends, that we dont match anymore. Deep down we might have started disliking the person more than anything else, and that surely shows in our behaviour, but we justify our behaviour by the concessions we make. You tell yourself, how much ruder you could have been to XYZ if you werent his friend. Now, you cut him so much slack. And so? The person is supposed to be jumping with joy, because his "friends" arent as rude to him as they could be? I think you should do yourself and XYZ a favour, by accepting that you'll arent friends anymore. Everyone must have that much courage in themselves, to love their friends, or distance themselves once the love is very much gone. Habit, is the worst reason to continue a friendship.

Sometimes, friendship wants to be foolish. Sometimes, friendship doesnt want objectivism. It wants a friend to be nice to you for some time, no matter what. To tolerate you at your worst. To be liked by, no matter what others think of you. Yes nobody will tolerate a pest forever, but we all have our weak moments. And to have our "friends" poke our weakness a few too many times is surely not deserved. I guess "tolerating erstwhile friends" is a curse of a group of friends. So very often, we start confusing friends and acquaintances. We hang out in packs. And we make friends with everyone else's friends and partners. And later, we start disliking these very people, but are stuck with them in the same "group". Strange situation, it is. I firmly believe in individual friendships. It is difficult to sometimes explain to others why I might not be friends with someone who is nice to me and hangs out in the same group. For me, there are some more things I need for it to be called 'friendship'. Though one thing I am capable of, is separating my individual friendships. No friend of mine is bound to like my other friends. And I dont need to like all my friend's friends. Many people boast of the same. But I've seen very few being able to do that. Somewhere in their linear equations, a few too many variables turn up, leaving it in a mess, and very much unsolvable.

I refuse to be pulled into this world of sarcasm and cynicism which some call "having fun" with friends. Let me be naive to believe in being nice to friends. Let me be emotional to be hurt by the unexpected rudeness from the people you value. Let me be brave to make it known when we are no longer friends. Because seriously, I think it is high time we grew up.