"So, where are you from?"
I am from XYZ city.
If XYZ does not belong to the following set of {Mumbai, Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta, Bangalore}, chances are the conversation might quickly change to some other topic.
And yes, I said 'chances'... I am not saying 'it definitely will'!
As you might have guessed, I dont belong to the abovementioned cities. But I dont have a problem with them either. I have heard delhi-ites say how proud they are of the capital city. I've heard mumbaiyyas claim they stay in the best city in the country (or the world?). I've heard bangloreans enthuse about how they belong to the most happening city in India. You get the gist. I've also heard people get emotional and argumentative when comparing Delhi and Bombay. Or Bombay and Chennai. Or Calcutta and Delhi. And being far removed from such emotions of pride which I could never really understand, I've always respected them for their feelings.
Everyone loves their city/town/village. If you've spent enough time in a place... if you have childhood memories etched in your mind... if you know the roads and lanes like the back of your hand... if you belong... you will love the place! But you probably have nothing to be proud about. I mean, its not the capital city, issit? Its not the commercial center, issit? Its not the technology hub, issit? No it is not. And that is why, you rarely hear people claim 'XYZ is the best city in India'. XYZ, is just another one of the hundreds of cities and towns that make up India. But really, what would the country be, without the scores of XYZs?
By all means, be proud of where you belong. But it does irk me when people imply that India = Bombay (and only Bombay!) or India = Delhi (and only Delhi!)... and the rest of the country can go fly a kite. It also irks me when people characterise a city... "nowhere in the world will you find people as helpful as in Bombay" or "nowhere in the world will you find as much crime and carelessness as Delhi". Because frankly, you havent seen the whole world, have you? No it doesnt anger me... as I said, I respect their feelings, as long as they do see the world outside their well too.
The one thing that does anger me is the remoteness with which people pass judgements on an entire state. Kashmir is a different issue... everyone loves to have a say in it. And that's just because it has become the symbol of national pride. We are quick to boo the Pakistan cricket team and to show off our generous contributions to their earthquake fund, because that shows how much we care about the state and the people there. Well, we mostly dont. Do we care about north-eastern states? Do we care about Bihar? Do we care about Orissa? When I hear statements like 'lets give them autonomy and get rid of them', it really makes my blood boil. They are not a drain on national resources. They are not the black sheep of the country. They have their share of problems. That doesnt mean the average person there is inferior to you or me. That doesnt mean the average person there doesnt have a right to love the place he or she belongs to. That doesnt mean the average person there should not be an Indian anymore.
Remove the blinders. Please.
Yes, I know most of you kind people reading this will agree with me. Yes, I know it might offend you if you do belong to the metropolitans. That wasnt the intention. Trust me, its not a sentiment against you'll collectively... it is just a request to look outside your well if you havent already done so. And I know I dont need to issue disclaimers... and this aint one either.
posted by Casablanca at
11:30 AM
58 Comments:
Damn that was well written!!! I know exactly what you mean...Being a metropolitan myself, I sometimes think that they are just plain overrated. It's crazy the way places and people from places get slotted into categories almost as a reflex action...Which can get most irritating most times! Gah! Nice post! :)
Well, for the rest of the world.INDIA means BOMBAY AND NEW DELHI, THEY KNOW BANGALORE AND MADRAS.
Its not that they are opinionated. The knowledge that they have is based on how much exposure each city has. No other city will be equitable to these places for people elsewhere (out of India).
Just like you would not know the 51 states of USA. But, you would definitely know NY and California.
Its just the way, it is.
Your shouting on your blog is not going to change the fact.
P.S- This is the third post of yours that I am reading and I do not want you to generalize, but pray why are you always made of negative emotions??
Good to see, someone is more unhappy than the others.
Hmm, well for me going back to India has always meant going back to Bombay, and yes i will say that it IS the best city in the whole of India!
But i dont look down or badmouth other cities for that reason. Never. Well, there might be people who do that..but that is bcos they are blinded by the love for their home city.
And babes, i guess if someone is making fun of other states or cities, just ignore them or just laugh with them.
My friends and i have also joked and mocked about various cities and states (in India), but for very silly reasons. Not that we dont respect the people living there or those who belong to those places, but its just something that comes up during our yackety-yak.
For instance, i had once met this guy who was a bihari. I dint know that and i asked him "where are you from?". And he started laughing. And then he said "You will laugh if i tell u...i am a bihari." Honestly i didnt laugh, neither did i find it funny. But when i thought about it, i realised that if there were some other people in my shoes, there is a huge possibility that they wud just start laughing! It is just this impression that Bihar has created. Or maybe others have created this image for them (biharis). So its not exactly being mean or rude to them, but just a slight mockery that i think people should take lightly.
India certainly is much more than the metros or the big cities. Everytime I go back to India the urge to travel and see a country so large that I can never cover all of it really overcomes me.
As for the metro-people, well I am from Bombay, and thats where home is. Home always has a special place in the heart. Can't help that.
I disagree with drasticchange. India is not just the metros to the world. There was an article on CNN just the other day about talks between Western scientists and the Dalai Lama. I've found more people abroad know where Dharamsala is than Indians. In fact, Indian commerce (metros) is at best at the back of their minds... some ppl still find it hard to believe that there are skyscrapers and cars (i.e. normal cities) in India. When people save up for vacations to India, they do it to visit Goa, not Bombay.
Wishfulthinker,
Yes, this categorisation of people based on their city or state of origin ought to stop, isnt it?
Drasticchange,
Whoever said anything about non-Indians and their knowledge of India??? This is about Indians and India.
This is the n-th comment of yours, but pray, why dont you first try and understand the post before commenting?
Medha,
It might be the best city for you, but not for everyone... to each his own.
As for the jokes and mockery, I totally understand. Just like surd jokes... or mallu jokes. Lighthearted banter is different from a deep-rooted lack of understanding. Or so me thinks.
Oh, as a kid I have left no stone unturned to prove that Bomaby was the best city.It took five years in Nepal and life abroad thereafter to realise that I am Indian and if I inherently divide the country in my own head,where in lies the national pride.It took some time and realisation for me personally to learn how to appreciate where I come and even be proud of it.
can't u please tell us something abt 'urself' [you know 'what' ;)] instead of what ppl think of their cities and when and why they do what they do... we want u :p
:D:D
[*poetic me*]
:D
remove blinders? I'll try... but it's so much more fun bitching about delhiites...
show picture of morgan boots. drool worthy im sure!!!
explain how one can fall in love with a place in 6 days. explain how one can speak like the locals. explain how one feels alienated after return.
I can only say sorry; no chocolates or flowers, so please don't get angry.
So, if you are not from that set, where are you from?
I am late, but it's HIM.
Educated umemployed,
My sentiments exactly! Stepping out has given me that much required big-picture view.
PS: 5 years in Nepal sounds very exotic! :D
Burf,
Uh huh... about myself... Indian. Female. In HK. Oops, but I think you already knew all of that :D
Bgfs,
Photoworthy, I guarantee! Will do.
I want to go to Lahore too! And forget 6 days, I think sometimes 1 day is enough to fall in love with a city :)
Anonymous/Sanity Starved,
Why the anonymous comment?
Where am I from is quite inconsequential :)
"chances are the conversation might quickly change to some other topic." - I know exactly what you mean. Totally relate to this post.
I was also brought up in a small town. After I left that place, I've lived in several big cities all over India. But I still have fond memories of my town.
And yes, people do give me blank look when I mention the name of my hometown. Sad but sometimes I have to add "You've possibly not heard about the place".
Lots of stuff I can write in response to this post but i trust the other bloggers to voice similar opinions in due course of time. P.S. When you say my dad's the best dad in the world it doesnt necessarily mean you have met all the other dads in the world. Its more like an emotional outpour and there's no real reason to take offence at such sentiments.
Btw Medha and bluegreenflysplat ur both on for contesting Delhi's claim for India's best city and badmouthing Delhi respectively :)
right, thats why we need a post about u now :D
Rita,
Yup, I too have to use 'XYZ is near [nearest metro city]'.
Rohan,
No there's no harm in using it for emotional outpour and nobody takes offence to it. But if you were to go to your neighbour and insist that he agrees with your dad being better than his, there is surely a problem.
Also, if you were to turn your logic around, even comments like 'this city is the worst' should not cause offence, but I know such a statement about Delhi did cause offence to you once, on some other blog.
Burf,
Hmmm... not happening anytime soon :)
I had permission to post anonymously, so why waste the opportunity?
I was expecting this post to be anecdotes about your place. So that was the one question that stayed till the end. Yeah, inconsequential :)
Hmm, I agree with you. I have seen the metropolis ppl do it always, more so those who are from Mumbai.
I am from Bihar but lived pan-India, in Delhi, Central India and then for the last one and half year in Bangalore, but still I am from Bihar.
I remember last time when I was going to India after a long gap, the connecting flight to India was Air France, Paris -Mumbai. The flight was I think also connected to some flight from America, so there was lot of Indians. I entered the plane, gasping for breath,(I had only 40 minutes for making the connection had to run from whole terminal 2A to 2D) and I was so happy to see so many Indians, I was smiling when I entered the plane. Now the plane landed in Mumbai, and as it always happens with me, they misplaced my baggage. I had to do all the paper work and when suddenly when I put my address of Bihar, the lady of the Air France ground crew made such a face at me, as if I was going to hell and asking them to send my bag to hell.
I was so happy to see Indians and now in my own country, a fellow Indian made a smug face at me for being a Bihari.
the escapist
any hints on googling? ;)
:D
Sanity,
Hehehe... you didnt quite leave it 'anonymous' did you :)
Anecdotes... hmmm, sorry to disappoint ;)
Green,
I guess people do have their prejudices about all groups/castes/states... just hope they are slowly learning to let go of that.
when the people's magazine n time's magazine vote bombay as the safest city for single men n women to work.. v cant say much about it can we..
Bombay rocks!!
lol.. but truly i get the bigger picture tat ur tryin to say..
stop judgin PPL
the remoteness with which people pass judgements on an entire state.
I luv such species and how they are proud of there limited knowledge...It only provokes me to listen more of the intelligence fall from there cute and small mouth.
Now I'm goggling for XYZ Ciet in India...I sow wanna go and visit this place, so that I can claim my LTC before this year end.
Nice posty Casa!!
Liked your way of thinking from past 3 posts.
Keep em coming :)
And have a nice weekend ahead!!
Burf,
Yes... the hint goes by the name of 'give up' :D
Sonu,
I am sure it rocks :)
Arz000n,
Keep em coming
Ah well... will be on a break next week, so not sure I can fulfill that request :)
Guilty as charged, I will say Mumbai is the best city in the country, I will also say that Delhi is not. But I will also mention that I am biased,if I make a joke about you being from Jamshedpur (as I have in the past) its generally all good natured and they know that, it generally is unless your an ass. Its the little cities that make bombay the crazy throbbing mass of life it is. And here is also where we go when we need to get away from bombay.
Repeating what I replied to Medha's comment, which was similar to yours:
As for the jokes and mockery, I totally understand. Just like surd jokes... or mallu jokes. Lighthearted banter is different from a deep-rooted lack of understanding. Or so me thinks.
*ducking for cover* and I think you know why! :-))
I will still take my chances and say that Bombay is the best place in the world because of many reasons and not the least of them being that this city has shaped me into the person I am.
But it does not mean that I think any less of any other place in this country. I call Hyderabad home! Perhaps I have a problem with Delhi but that's because of 15 yrs of continuously bizzare and traumatic experiences in that city and with people from there. And yet, there are somethings I absolutely love about Delhi.
Having said that, I do understand that your point because I feel my country as much as I feel my city. And I share your anger about the BIMARU states - it is perhaps among the most pissing off things in the world when people shoot their mouths off like that.
I mean no offence and I hope you take none but it seems a little unfair to fault people for thinking the best of their cities. To my mind, a thinking person will admit both the faults and the pluses of their city and admit to other places being equally good but emotionally will always be tied to their city.
And being emotionally tied to something is what it comes down to finally! :-)
Oh my - that was long - pls to forgive the rant! *smiling very nicely*
Oh my dear girl, dont duck for cover. I promise not to throw anything your way :)
I guess this explanation does make sense... yes, I will not fault people for loving their city, as long as they let others do the same for other cities.
As I mentioned, everyone is emotionally tied to whereever they belong... and thank god for that :)
:(
what abt a yahoo id if nothing else
:D
Oh oh...talking about cities...I just love the place I come from. Big Deal(everyone does). But then Udaipur is so so so amazing.
And yes I always feel dwarfed when people are talking about one of these metros. The fast life. The night life. Nothing of this sort in Udaipur. Still so so peaceful and beautiful.
I want to retire and settle down there near one of the many lakes. Have couple of buffalos.
Heaven !!!!
@Burf - Keep trying(till the end). I hope casa gives u some hint atleast.
You are writing a better post everyday..what's going on.. lol.. nice post. Its true but i believe it is not just about metro dwellers, and has got to do with a mindset common with inferiority complex. when one realise that he/she is not the best or her place is not the best, she just starts comparing herslf with lesser ones.... even xyz dwellers at some point of time must have thought out loud that XYZ is better than the small town or the village...
Well I like all cities for different nuances. But overall I would like to spend my youth in bombay. It rocks my socks.
Umm... Casa mebbe you should delete a certain comment off a certain blog. Mixes up the identities. :-)
p.s - Can be less subtle. but would need to mail you then :-)
very nicely written! i am from cal and i'm crazy about cal - but its just a personal preference - I dont think in terms of india = cal ... lol ... far from it :)
about bihar, etc. yes if there are people who do think these places are not imp then its really wrong. i havent personally met them so its hard to say. i have at times felt like we should let kashmir go, but then thats only bcz, maybe it will stop them hurting it anymore.
about charecterising cities, i dunno how you mean that. i do it all the time - and i do it to every place / thing i write abt. what abt it do u object to?
Vikram,
Good to know that about bangloreans :)
Burf,
As Raul says... wait till the 'end' :)
Raul,
I know what you mean... 'dwarfed' is the word!
Buffalos? Hahahahaha!
Anthony,
Zhank you :D
And you have a good point there... yup, even XYZ-ites think they are better than lots of other places. Bingo!
Saurabh,
Thanks for that.
I am sure I wont mind spending my youth in any place as long as I have loads of friends there.
Prerona,
I object to the fact that people classify a city as good or bad based on a single incident or person. But I guess, that is how judgements are formed...
Yeah Casa. Its a long pending dream. To have couple of Buffalos and Dogs in the courtyard when I retire. Still a lot of time but i'll make sure I fulfill this dream of mine.
And true "dwarfed" is the word. Very true. But these days I somehow enjoy when someone from a "metro" starts praising his/her city "blah, blah and blah". Gives me a strange satisfaction !!!
well...to be honest.. i really wanted to give off calcutta to bangladesh after the cricket match and the way they booed dravid and even sachin.Waving the South africa flag didnt help things. i have no problems with other states.In fact, i would like to have atleast one friend from each state :p
What???? What kind of wierd logic is that? R u trying to say that "My dad is the best dad in this world" is similar and shud evoke similar reactions as when someone tells me "Your dad is the worst Dad in the world". Sounds like soemone's had a drink too many on this Friday night :)
Raul,
Strange satisfaction? Why?
Totti,
Cricket and Calcutta... ah, we are getting into emotional stuff here ;)
"One friend from each state" - another of your diversification aka dating plans?
Rohan,
Duh! It was in the context of what you wrote: "Its more like an emotional outpour and there's no real reason to take offence at such sentiments."
So maybe you shouldnt get so offended if someone said Delhi has no soul?
I liked the part about characterizing cities. I hate it when people say "The people of X are friendly" or "People of Y are thieves". Leave alone seeing all other places in the world - how can you generalize about all people in a city for God's sake? Good and bad and the in-between-grey abound everywhere.
Nice post btw. :-)
i still think the best thing to do is get silly, and behave touristy. that way you dont get too attached to anything or anyone either.
but someone told me try being a traveller. rather than a tourist. Makes sense non?
hey raul, i am going to udaipur next weekend, any tips for this first-timer tourist?
i dunno abt all or anybody or watever, but i love delhi, it breathes for me, it has a soul for me, i can see the flaws that others point out to, but for me there are as many flaws here as in anywhere else of the same size and i love this place for whatever it is [and has been for me]... btw, i was born in mumbai
cas, is it that i am asking the question in a wrong [public] domain? ;) hmmm
Janani,
Exactly my point! One person, or one incident does not characterise a city!
Bgfs,
Yes, I like to get into the skin of a new place... a holiday coming up, will try not being a tourist this time :)
Burf,
As I said, everyone loves the place they belong to.
There is no 'right' domain either... :)
yeah..there used to be an orc in SC.we drove it away to la-la land :p
with all the comments you are gettin do u have time to read all of em?
Having lived in oh-so-many places in India and having made from friends in..err..10 different schools in India, I totally get what you mean. Attributing just one quality or characteristic to an entire city/town is completely unjustified and inaccurate. But I must admit that I feel more loyal to the places where I've lived/visited, as opposed to all those other places I have never been to, and familiarity is the top reason for this. It is inevitable that the human mind associates certain feelings or attributes [prejudices, if you may] to certain places and people, to help categorise them in our heads and it is hard to wish away such associations without some conscious effort.
And what about the whole north india-south india thing? There's even a guy here who doesn't consider north india 'real' -
"delhi is full of pollution and cows, isn't it?" Someone once said to me that the only thing common b/we north and south india is the currency. Sans that, we'd be different nations!
Totti,
Hehe... that is why I shall visit NY, and not LA :D
Clint,
Yup, I do read and reply to all. Maybe I have too much time ;)
Sherene,
Glad to see it from your point of view. Its understandable to feel a belonging to all or some of the places you have lived in. Very natural, isnt it?
Cowlick,
Oh, that will require another post :) But I do feel that with the young working population moving all over the country, that barrier is getting reduced to some extent.
Reading your post has made me ask that where do i come from?
well...I come not from one city but many...cuz i have lived in many cities...and had fun everywhere...
but cant associate myself with any city...
strange na! well then again...i am a pahailee..:)
nice thoughts you have for every day posts...
love to check out your blog every day
Yep, I agree. It irks me when people jump to conclusions about "the person" based on their city. Or even qualities a person might be possessing just because they seem to be connected to a particular part of India. That does not make sense to me, and I get upset with that. I have lived in a couple different places in India, and although I have my favorite ( Mumbai!:)), I also realized that every city had its plus points in my view. Something special about it, regardless of its size. But I never argue that with people..since I know everyone has their favorite. Unless, I have personally experienced different places and THEN come to a particular conclusion(that too, a conclusion based only on my point of view. Another person, living in those same cities might still have a different viewpoint from mine!), saying things like it's the best in the world, doesn't occur to me. Ofcourse, I understand when it is said out of utter emotion....the love, the attachment, appreciation and adoration :-).
Paheli,
Yes, even I feel a belonging to multiple places... not very strange I'd say :)
Thanks!
Harshi,
Yes definitely everyone has their favourites, and they should! Its one of the ways to feel connected to a place :)
hmmm...ur blog certainly got me into thinkin..abt all the cities I hae been to...
and the conclusion..time and time again was..Bombay is the best city I have ever been to/lived in..will not say in the world as I agree with you on that....
but proud to be a mumbaikar always!!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Now lets move a notch up and see what the conversation will be if cities are replaced with countries. I mean the converstaion which starts around a table with people from different nationalities. I have seen numerous occasions in which the the Americans or chinese have a completely wrong ideas about India and none of the Indians (including me) not volunteering to explain. More than that, Indians are the first to criticize themselves. That too infront of others. Peculiar behaviour!!
Stupendousman,
Ah well, Chennai is a metro, and though the north-south divide deserves a seperate post, I think I've come across many Chennai-ites who also have the 'my-city-is-best' syndrome.
Packan,
Understandable :)
Venkata,
Yes I too hate it when fellow Indians leave no stone unturned in criticising India!
Fully Completely Agree!!
well i dont really identify with this coz i dont think i have ever indulged in it beyond a point where it makes for a good argumentative conversation... u know, the type that livens up a discussion just the way we passionately discuss whether sourav ganguly should be in the team or not and whether dravid is better than sachin... u r of course absolutely right about the fact that we love them coz we have so much attached with them... but that definitely does not give us the right to badmouth them... in fact if it comes to that, i think one of the hill stations would be the best place in india ;D
Dinesh,
Glad.
Lancelot,
Yes but then there are people who genuinely think Ganguly shouldnt be in the team... its not just to liven up a discussion ;)
I agree with you and I am also guilty of the "characterisation of ppl from Bombay" bit ;)
I am sure you are guilty of characterisation. You told me to go and get help because I wrote a mean post :)
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