The lone sailor
The realisation that you now actually like something that you dont like, is disturbing as well as calming.Okay, allow me to explain.
I've complained about missing my friends in HK over the last few months. I've complained about not liking the lonely feeling. I've complained about not having people to talk to all the time. But like everything else, lonliness has a way of growing on you. And I realised this when I was in SF.
My good cousin (yes, the one who I praised a couple of posts back) drove me from San Jose to SF and we did some of the touristy sightseeing. But I realised that I now like exploring new places on my own. I now dont understand the need to make constant conversation with the person you are. It was tiring. To smile, to talk, to praise, to criticise. I think silent conversations are great. I am much more at ease with me, my thoughts, and my observations. It was surprising, because till then I truly thought that small talk was entertaining, and I was someone who didnt like being alone.
We surprise ourselves sometimes.
The queen of small talk has handed in her resignation.
The next day I went to SF again, on my own this time. To pick up a map and use the public transport to navigate a city is what I call getting a feel of the place. It is what I now call having a good time. To walk in the wrong direction. To ask for the right direction. To people watch while having breakfast with your self in a quaint cafe. To take the tram and talk to the conductor. To smile at random tourists and click photos for them. To stand at street corners and watch the crowds. To shoot random photos. To walk into shops without the intention of buying anything. To walk for 40 minutes just to see a building. To walk back 40 minutes because you arent sure of bus directions. To decide halfway that you have enough time to get lost, and therefore take the bus. To surprisingly reach the correct destination. To eat cheap mexican food. To drink the same coffee at Starbucks. To tell people you are from India when they question you. To smile and let it go when they dont believe.
Unknowingly, I've made a compromise. And I have adapted to being at peace with me and my thoughts.
Its strange... but I do make good company for myself ;)
posted by Casablanca at
11:12 AM
32 Comments:
Intersting .....!
Any details abt the picture ......?
The picture was taken at the vista point for the Golden Gate bridge in SF. The sculpture is titled 'The lone sailor' and it is meant to represent the millions of immigrants that landed in California over the years :)
Its always nice to be with yourself. Always. I have travelled alone and I have travelled with small and large groups of people and I have come to the conclusion that going solo has a special charm and excitement to it that just cannot be replicated in the company of others. If any of that didn't make any sense, then suffice to say that I loved this post! :D
What I did most in HK was exactly that.I loved going on walks by myself and finding places, randomly taking the tram then getting lost and caught in the rain...
yup I understand exactly how you feel.
These sure are amazing new developments! The girl that returns to Singapore will be quite different from the one that left six months back
- RMOPLF
Wishfulthinker,
All that sure makes sense, but it never hurts to top it all with a compliment in the end :D
Angelsera,
Getting caught in the rain though doesnt catch my fancy.
RMOPLF,
Yes will be quite different I think, but then again, I might change back skins pretty easily :)
Probably u believe in "solitude is bliss"....btw taking Public transportation in Cal is not a good idea :))
the first days after i came here , i was surprised by the fact tht lots of ppl here are "loners" . i even ended writing a post on it ...and now i am experimenting being a loner . I agree tht it kinda grows on u . but the fact is even u felt the same abt being a loner and lots of other ppl also feel tht . is the air out here or something tht makes ppl enjoy being on their own ?
Pointy,
I disagree. I took the Caltrain, and the Muni, and both were great!
Jagan,
I guess it is the air in HK which has transformed me. But I do hope that its only a temporary thing. I would hate to be a loner when I get back to Singapore next year!
PS: You are going to NY sometime soon? Its reallllllly COLD!
firstly...the sharara is for a friends wedding(will post pics later id they come out nice.lol)
khair...i cant relate to the being on ur own thing cuz im personally (and i dont like it) very sheltered.blame it on the over-protective society, on me being a girl and i suppose to parents thinking i cant cope on my own.
am however working on escaping.lol.
*god bless masters degrees*
i love being with myself too....and its so difficult to make small talk sometimes ...esp with ppl u know...i can and love to talk to strangers but sometimes u dont feel like talking just for the heck of it...just to be polite to ur friends or cousins in ur case....or anyone u know...
sometimes u just wana be with urself...enjoy the world alone...
was it surprising to u urself that u make a good company ;)
:p
lol
kidding...
Khizzy,
Glad you clarified that. Otherwise I was all prepared to attend a true Paki wedding :D
My parents thankfully, are the kind that tell me to go out and explore more.
Alice,
Exactly, now I dont enjoy talking just for the heck of it. I used to be quite okay with it before...
Burf,
Modesty aside, I think I do make reasonably good company for others ;)
But yes, didnt know I would enjoy my own company so much. You see, I have very high standards for myself :D
lady seems to be at peace with herself. :) nice!
standards... i hope the QC process wasnt bribed :p
:D
anyways i won't mind being a free-of-charge certifying auditor ;)
:D:D
AHA, You have discovered urself so late, and yes its really good to be alone in the crowd and to smile at people at random...
I love being with friends but I also love it when I am alone..having fun even when we are not part of a bigger group..and a person who enjoys his own company is never bored
hmmm...u knw its really imporatnt to b at peace with urself...u know b comfortable with urself...being with urself...its relaxing and peaceful...where u dont need to say or do neth coz u shud and not coz u want to...but u shudnt b averse to company either!!!
Neil,
Yes, temporarily, atleast :)
Burf,
There's no such thing as free lunch, so I would be wary of such free auditors ;)
Anthony,
No, didnt discovered myself. The loner aint me. The talkative, extrovert is me. But as I said, sometimes, unknowingly, we adapt :)
Shikha,
a person who enjoys his own company is never bored
Well said :)
Mysterygal,
No I am not averse to company. Just that when it comes to exploring a new place, I think I like doing it myself or with very close friends.
hi casa..been a long time since i was in here..lots to catch up!
about the post..u must bcome a lone backpacker! being with oneself and friends with self!
i like being one! me on my own
the auditor wont mind getting paid either
:p
:))
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
btw, don't look like an indian... matlab???
i guess its the same with all of us. sometimes only we could resonate with ourselves... especially in those lonely moments, when resonance is what u want.
ps: lots to read on ur blog. was almost offline the whole month
Ive travelled alone only once in my life, and thats only because it was somethin free thrown in before i got to wherever.
so i totally agree with ur post! :)
But i would still much rather prefer a holiday with close friends than one by myself. And of course a holiday on my own, rather than with just a passing acquaintance!
Yes much rather be alone than make forced conversation. But then i'd also rather live alone than with extended family, irrespective of how hospitible. I'd just rather eat whenever i'm hungry, not have to be careful about wetting the bathroom and wake up when i'm no longer sleepy rather than be obligated to live by other peoples rules.
And isnt that pretty awesome - being comfortable in your own skin..
Its all about getting used to your lifestyle, making the most of it and then actually enjoying it.
I left the comfort of family close friends and home 9 years ago.
I have come to totally enjoy my solitude.
Some times it scares me though..I don't want to turn asocial..So the effort is on.
your posts are always so interesting. it's a pity i am not able to visit more often (and comment) due to time constraints. i wish you'd know that I've read every single post of yours with great enjoyment. keep on blogging!!!!
hmm..interesting.It would be a difficult life if you find yourself boring :)
You seek the crowds as a (a)loner,and you find yourself alone even in a crowd.Funny :p
thats the best company u'll find. make friend with urself - u'll need noone else!
going home! excited :)
I was actually surprised to hear about the SFO trip in a car. Public transport and sorting things out for yourself is definitely the way to go! Figure the city out, drop into a coffeeshop and people-watching... definitely top things to do in a city!
Godolphin,
Havent done a backpacking trip yet. I still like a bit of comfort thrown in for my holidays ;)
Burf,
Cheapo :P
And yes, a lot of people tell me I dont look Indian. I even got that from my Indian colleague in NY! She asked, "Are both your parents Indian?"
Shashi,
Resonate with ourselves
I like that thought!
Archster,
Yes if its a fun beach holiday, I want friends. But if it is about exploring a city, too much company might spoil it.
Karuna,
Yup, after living alone for so long, I dont like it when I am forced to follow rules at home :(
Dreamcatcher,
Yes, it is :)
Educatedunemployed,
Nope I still dont enjoy my solitude at all times. Sometimes I crave for company... crave real bad!
Shubodeep,
*takes a bow*
Thanks, you are generous :)
Totti,
Wow, sensible comments coming from you! What is wrong with the world? ;)
Prerona,
Excited for you :D
But I disagree... the best company doesnt have to be myself.
Sanity,
Yup, its such a quaint city anyway. Slow and laid back!
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