I swear I dont swear

Yes, go ahead. Call me a sissy, or call me uptight, but I just dont use many four letter expletives. No I am not going to judge you for judging me, or for swearing on your own time. I dont do moral-policing, my dear.

Okay, I digress.

Anyways, so the one word that I use as a substitute for all swears, is "bitch". I mean, a girl's gotta have some way of venting out her emotions! But then again, the word takes on very varied meanings, depending on the context of use. So, inspired by my (un)successful attempt to dymystify "cute", I decided to attempt the same with "bitch" and how girls you it.

1) Referring to self: Statements like 'oh I'm just being a bitch' certainly isnt an indication that you can call me one! It just means that although I am a sweet little thing on most occasions, I can be a meanie at times, and am proud of that. Its our way of saying we are tough, or funny, when we need to be.

2) Referring to close girl friends: Yes, we do use it as a compliment to each other, in each others' company. Usually accompanied with a smile, the line 'oh, you are such a bitch' is congratulatory, and sounds more like ah-join-the-club-sistah. Again, it means you are sweet, but its fun when you are mean!

3) Referring to random girls: Yup, this is the time when we use the word in the truest sense. Can be used to describe irritating colleagues, girls we know but wish we didnt, and even women we dont know at all! And well, they deserve it. People who dont ask you out for lunch, or gossip about you, or show off how they lost 2 kgs in the last 2 years, or are mean to your favourite guy in a TV show. Yup, they all deserve it, I say!

4) Referring to guys: Yes I know the correct word here is 'dawg', but what the hell. And it sounds less of an insult referring to them as 'bitches' anyway. Again, it serves the purpose of swearing at someone, and at the same time, doesnt give the guy much of an opportunity to swear back at you. Maybe yeah, in his head, but that's ok. Usually used in a humourous mood, not when starting a catfight, rather dogfight... or whatever it should be called.

5) Referring to life: Well, I've often wondered why does the saying go 'Life's a bitch' and not 'Life's a dog'. But maybe dogs arent all that scheming or manipulative, as life sometimes is. We'll never know, will we? Who's been inside a dog's head anyway. So, origin of phrase - unknown. Usage of phrase - chart topper!


Disclaimer: All examples used are purely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or incidents is (not) purely co-incidental.
Also, feel free to disagree... I dont even claim to represent all females in this world. 3 billion people are too many to speak for, dont ya think?