Is it just me?
On a particularly uninspiring saturday afternoon, your friend decides to spend a thousand bucks buying DVDs at HMV. What do you do? You humm and you browse and you recommend and you reject. Finally, you give in to temptation. You tell yourself that you dont have the patience the watch a 2 hour movie, so it is a sensible decision to purchase a TV series, which you can watch leisurely, one episode at a time. 2 hours is a stretch, but 30 minutes, we can take.
And so I bought the first season DVD of 'Sex and the City'.
And then I watched the first season DVD of 'Sex and the City'. All 12 episodes. In one day.
*gulp*
Addictive? It is.
Slick? It is.
Over the top? Very often, it is.
Relatable? Sometimes, surprisingly, it is!
And I say 'surprisingly' because I'm not a 30-something, boyfriend-changing, sexy-looking, bar-hopping, shoe crazy, NY-loving hotshot. *anyone who points out that I am actually shoe crazy will burn in hell* Yet, there are personality traits and situations that I can identify with. There are thoughts and questions I can relate to. There are some parts of their hyper-glamourised and larger-than-life existence which arent so difficult to digest. For me. And for many other women.
It makes me wonder... how am I able to identify with such different people in such different situations? Movies, TV, books, blogs. How do their questions seem relevant? How do their decisions make me sad? How do I start wondering about my life after watching/reading them? Is this a personal trait? Or do women generally find it easier to admit to problems. To confusions. To questions. And do we find solace in not being the only one with these problems and questions. Does it give us strength to know that someone else might be in a similar state of mind?
Which begs me to ask... how is it that I rarely hear from guys that they are able to relate to a character out of a book or a movie? And we are talking about normal human beings here, in full flesh and blood, in the 21st century. Jedis and Hobbits dont count. And if they do, why is it so difficult for them to admit it? Is it about false bravado and refusing to admit to being confused in life, or is it just not a guy thing to ponder over these questions after the movie or book is over? I really wonder.
posted by Casablanca at
3:49 PM
38 Comments:
Its the latter, most cases!
I guess its a woman thing, to be able to relate to, open up and share their problems. Even the most private of women will have a girlfriend to share her secrets with.
And yes, i do relate to SATC even though i am a 30something, but not boy-friend changing, sexy-looking, bar-hopping, shoe-crazy person. :)
err... no, no you aren't shoe-crazy. At all!
*will scan previous numerous posts dedicated to shoe-shopping* ;P
Except for the age.....*struggles to stay modest*
Okay now La Biggus Doofus gets the joke. FINALLY!
Jay,
Hmm... interesting.
Aparna,
You bar hop and shoe shop in HK? I'm wondering how I havent bumped into you yet ;)
Jupiter,
I thought MBA prep will sharpen you... you seem to be slowing down. My jokes cant be that difficult!
nope, i dont! thats what i said... am 30-something, but not bar-hopping, shoe-shopping :P
but wth, i still relate to it!
hey casa,
Well am not sure I quite agree with this...i mean I often watch friends and other serials/movies and soo relate to some of the characters or just quirks of the characters and yes talk about it too!
I think its a very individual thing...not really a guy or a girl thing!
well for guys I doubt they delve so deep into 'problems'.They are more of Mr Fixits.That is what works for them.Trust me you don't want to be around whiners.They aren't a pretty lot.That is the one thing I love about men.They deal with their brood mode a lot better than we do.
Yeah women love to get into self sympathy and love to sympathize with others.Its just inherent.To be honest, I know some females who have been there done that like for everything...freaking everything and they SO identify with freaking everything that its damn annoying.
Jedis and Hobbits dont count. This one really had me rofl :)
Ponder over questions?
Relate to a character?
I sure do!
I think it has to do with the message being discussed and its profundity (the lesser the better) - In other words, by a show of hands, how many guys identify with the myriad concerns that Steve has in Coupling ranging from *fabric* and *color* to practical use of cushions - I know, I do. (unfortunately, haven't faced most of Patrick's dilemmas and fortunately, haven't faced most of Jeff's)
- RMOPLF
Seriously. Why can't I relate to a 35-year old housewife changing boyfriends every week. Sure beats me. Such an insensitive person, me ;)
Aparna,
Oh okies... sorry, I misread :)
And seeeeee... my point exactly! So many women can relate to it! And to each other.
Anand,
Here's the question... outside of a comedy, do you relate to characters? Do bogged down, over-analytical, questioning men seem familar to you?
EU,
I used to be one of those who would get irritated by women relating to so-called 'everything'. But I think I am one of them now ;) And to some extent, I think its a matter of believing what you want to believe. You can draw similarities or conclude differences between 2 things, depending on how you look at it. Dont you think so?
Moose,
Any examples?
RMOPLF,
Havent watched Coupling so I'm not sure of the 3 characters mentioned, but I'll ask this much: Outside a comedy, how many 'profound' characters do you identify with? And if the answer is none, does it mean that the men depicted in TV serials and books are just a figment of imagination?
Stupid series it is... Any prime time news is better than it..
and i was so so sad on seeing Kimi crashing out on the 1st lap :(
Anshul,
Thanks sweetheart, but I didnt ask people if they identify with SATC particularly... was asking about relating to TV and book characters generally :p
PS: SATC doesnt have housewives! They are all single! You are confusing it with DH :p
Raul,
You relate to newsreaders issit?
And yesterday's race was sad. He was out in the 1st minute! Didnt even complete 1 lap :(
Jedis and Hobbits dont count.Lol..that is such an apt statement..guys,if they do identify with someone,most of the time it happens to be either a knight or some macho
who says men cant relate??....chk my latest post...on "lost in translation". ;)
I wonder.. "SURPRISINGLY "ur pateince Ma'am...
nothing much to say ...
Um...er...I dunno what to say...I think it's just a thing man..not a guy thing or a girl thing...but then again, I could be entirely mistaken!!! (which is highly probable!) :D
Ah!
Yeggjampals! Me totally forgot yabout dose
Shikha,
Oh yes, coz most of them think they are superheroes or the like ;)
Sreicanth,
Hmmm... will check your post now.
Garima,
Yup, surprisingly. As I said, I'm not a 30-something yada yada yada.. yet there are things to identify with.
Wishfulthinker,
That was one unsure statement :p
Lazy Leo,
Yup, most people find comfort in numbers. And since women dont have a problem (usually!) being emotional and communicative, its just simpler for them to discuss.
Sunshine,
I wouldnt expect men to relate to their girlfriends, but maybe to other men??
Moose,
I'm still waiting for them examples ;)
God! I was going to say something, but it seems to be like always... already so many conclusions! God, we men are so taken for granted, I swear!
... okay, okay... I was just going to say there are few things you come across where men are treated in a way that you can identify with. Even in books. And definitely nothing on the scale of SATC.
2 hours is a stretch, eh?
Not true.
E.g. - Robert Kincaid from Bridges of Madison county.... A green old truck, Camera and the world to go hunting in. What else does a man need??
Hmm. One often likes fictional characters, but seldom would one say that one relates to them. Perhaps it's individualism. Perhaps even arrogance. Yes, perhaps it is, indeed, a guy thing.
Who said guys cannot relate to movie characters? I relate to Tom Cruise in MI2, Bruce Willis in Die Hard, and all such action heroes who have beautiful heroines by the side while fighting ruthless villains and achieve impossible tasks! :-))
I am the 30000th! :D
It's another matter that I hit the refresh button once again when I saw 29999 :p
i dont know if guys relate to these things or not..actually I cannot relate to sex in the city much..the only thing I like in that series is the stuff CArey writes..that always makes sense.. the rest..hmm.. The series sometimes just goes over my head..cause I have to wonder do people really live a life around shoes and sex?
I bought the first season DVD of 'Sex and the City'.
I was searching for it too..long time back...these pirated buggers dont have it :(
Purchased 7th season of FRIENDS 2 weeks back :)
I rarely hear from guys that they are able to relate to a character out of a book or a movie?
whenever I watch Imran Hashmi kiss some nice chick here on screen....I somehow relate myself to that character...damn, he is so lucky!!
:)
i think u r generalising events here...
A bit late to this, but I haven't seen a movie where I can relate to someone. Considering I see a lot of movies, I would conclude that there just isn't a movie character thats like me, even though I would love to see one. There are many that I want to be like.....: Tony Montana, Marty McFly, Tyler Durden, George Patton, Michael Corleone, Sam Spade, Capt. John Miller, Luke Skywalker ;)......., but none of them are like me. I think the closest would be the alcoholic, divorced, unpublished writer Miles from Sideways, and that is so sad :(
At the risk of sounding dismissive I must say that every movie or sitcom that is sold to any guy or girl works only because we all identify with the characters somewhere or the other, else all the escapist far would never sell. Also between the 4 characters in SATC they have pretty much covered most of the types of girls that exist so therefore I have hrd the argument that females identify with the series a gazillion faffillion times (guess thats why it ran for all those seasons)
I so can relate to some of these characters only when it comes to finding the right guy - phewwwwwwwwwww it's such a hard search!
Keshi.
It is a generalisation on some point but I would still agree with you. Women tend to involve themselves more in the serial. We see a bit of ourselves in Carrie and Miranda and Samantha and Charlotte pehaps beacuse as someone already said, these characters are extremes in their own ways. Each perhaps representing a different elementt in the zodiac.Moste men I know think DH or SATC are plain stupid.
SS,
True that... TV shows are becoming more and more female-centric. But I'm sure there are movies and books with strong male characters, isnt it?
2 hours is a stretch. But 6 hours, well... what can I say ;)
Saurabh,
I'm wondering if you want to be like him or you think you are already like him... There's a difference.
The One,
Yup, liking and relating to are 2 different things. Very different things :)
Jingu,
Oh well, I was talking about your real life. Not the fantasy life you lead with beautiful women and bottles of wine ;)
Moose,
Damn! You should have have saved a screenshot of that! I would have framed it :D
Ligne,
Which is why I said, a lot of it is over the top. But some confusions, questions and contradictions seem to define the modern woman, sans the glamour and sex.
Arz000n,
That is NOT relating to someone... that is called wishful thinking ;)
Pointy,
I am asking for proof that will make sure I dont generalise... and true, both sides seem to make an appearance. Which side are you on?
Vikram,
As I said, guys dont admit to their problems as easily as girls. Right or wrong, I wont judge... but it definitely is a gender thing, rather than just an individual trait.
Anarkist,
Exactly my point! Guys seem to 'like' a lot of characters, but cant 'relate' to them. Because as you said, relating to someone who aint a superhero, is so 'sad' ;)
Lazy Leo,
Oh well, if we can discuss shoes and manicures, what stops them from discussing cricket :)
Rohan,
But its not just SATC... that was an example. There are so many movies and books, even bloggers than we girls seem to be able to relate to. Can you?
Keshi,
Which makes me wonder... is there a 'right' guy?
Aristera,
Ah, finally we have someone who gives me proper examples. Thanks dear. But you clearly seem to be an exception here... most guys commenting here dont agree ;)
DC,
Yet a lot of men watch DH and SATC... well, what can I say ;)
I knew you'd say that! :D
What, Moose didn't provide yeggjampals? Grrrr!
hey Casa,
Its probably because women are more detailed and love having something to talk about. and guys are just one liners and dun use their brains much when it comes to talking about a movie after dark. *no offense..
They are more undetailed i guess..?*shrugs shoulders.They would probably talk more about that hot botox bums than the character's life. haha..
Please note: It varies with individuals.
:)
JR,
They would probably talk more about that hot botox bums than the character's life.
hehehe... so true!
Hot botox bums is always a favorite topic with us guys.
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