Serving our Time
2 weeks in Hong Kong, and I take the oh-so-cliched 1 step back... and wonder why I came here. And then I wonder why I left India.
The answer is simple. I was lazy. I wasnt up to the challenges than India offers to a 17 year old IIT aspirant - 1 among the millions. So I took the easy way out. There, I've said it.
Too many years have passed between that decision and today. Too many to pen down. Ups and downs. Highs and lows. But I knew one thing - I wasnt alone. There were lots of lazy people around me, who had also taken the easy way out, said their good-byes to India, and come over to the 'dark side'. Misery needs company. I felt good.. I wasnt the ony one.
The one thing that I missed most of India were my friends. And I still miss them. You see... intelligent, school-topping, go-getters hardly make for best buddies. Hardly make for people you can spend hours talking nonsense about.
No, I am not friendless. I made my friends here.. lets just say we arent exactly spoilt for choices. I made some very good friends though.. and settled in. Slowly the roots grew. Firm and well planted. My friends, my apartment, my hang-outs, my money (oh yeah.. green is my fav colour!) and... my home? Maybe.
And then... I decided to come to HK for 6 months. I am not sure why. Nopes, no idea. Nil.
Uprooted myself again... did you say, never repeat your mistakes?
Was it the extra money? Maybe. But anyone who knows me will say that money aint gonna stay with me... it'll flow to designer labels and shoe makers.
Was it the fame? Maybe. But cmon, its not that I got to stay in NY for 6 months. I mean.. its just HK you know. Right?
Was it the thrill of a new place? Maybe. But surely I could have taken a 10 day holiday to see this place. You dont need 6 months to see HK, do you.
The reason this situation is different from my first uprooting, is that I am the only uprooted one. Life around me goes on normally for everyone else. They pretend they dont see me. Its easy for them. I cant decide at this point, which I miss more, Singapore or India. I cant decide, where I belong more, Singapore or India.
All I know is... maybe I stepped out to test myself. Maybe I wanted to know if I can set up roots again. I wanted to know if I can begin life again.. if I have to.
I wanted to know how it feels.. to have a clean slate.
posted by Casablanca at
5:49 PM
5 Comments:
me too... i guess.
But can never be too sure. I was just basically kicked about the fact that I will go into an unknown land where no one knows me... and I can be whoever I want to be. Even changed my name a little..
just for kicks...
hhmmm.. i ve asked this question to myself..y i keep running away from people i know.. and ve never been able to get d rite answer..!!
maybe its coz there s an emptiness in our lives which we don like.. there s something we yearn for and ve never got.. i dunno wat exactly.. but someday u ll know wat u want outta your life.. and dat day u ll understand y u took all those decisions..!! till then people like me are always around to hear to your ramblings..!!
it is touching!!! yes and i can somewhat relate to it...and i must say that u can pen down thoughts beautifully...
guess we can never really convince ourselves that grass is never greener on the other side...maybe thats what inspires us...to begin afresh...to start from square one...on a clean slate...because there is this urge to prove (more to ourselves than others) that we are worth our whiles as long as we are here...havent still figured out why this need to prove this again and again and ...yet again...
maybe i m yet to arrive in life...maybe!!!
till then u keep on blogging
movin to a new place almost always gives u a chance to reinvent ureself. humans are adaptive by nature. i too wonder sometimes whether ill miss doha if i move outta here. donno? hasnt come to that point yet.
but i guess home is what u make of it... doesnt matter where u are.
You'll remember it all as a great experience, not to mention the exposure of working in a different country.. amid different cultures..
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